kluREOCNO, 2012-07-16 07:11:30
The crux of your writing wsliht sounding reasonable originally, did not settle properly with me after some time. Someplace throughout the paragraphs you were able to make me a believer but just for a short while. I still have got a problem with your jumps in logic and one would do nicely to help fill in those breaks. If you can accomplish that, I would certainly end up being impressed.